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| © Martijn Pierik | dreamstime.com |
We see them all over the place - signs that are meant to inform and instruct... But often, the message can be quite confusing - or just downright funny!
Here are some absolute classics for your amusement and entertainment...
In a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
In a laundrette:
These washing machines are automatic. WHEN
THE LIGHT GOES OUT, Please remove all your clothes
In a department store:
Visit our bargain basement on the 3rd
floor
In an office:
Will the person who took the step ladder yesterday
please return it – or further steps will be taken
In the staff room:
After tea break, please wash the teapot
and stand upside down on the draining board
And in another office:
Toilet out of order. Please use floor
below
Outside a farm:
Horse manure – £1 per pre-packed bag or
do-it-yourself for 50p
On a church door:
This is the gate of Heaven – enter all ye
through this door.
(This door is kept locked because of the draught. Please use the side door)
(This door is kept locked because of the draught. Please use the side door)
In a German café:
Mothers – please wash your hans before
eating
In a second-hand shop:
We exchange anything – bicycles, white
goods, electronics, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful
bargain?
On a new town hall, due to be opened by the Duchess of Windsor:
The Town Hall is closed until opening. It
will be remain closed after being opened. Open again as normal tomorrow
At the side of a country road:
Slow cattle crossing. No overtaking for
the next 100 years
On entering a village:
Slow children and animals
Outside a nightclub:
Shades is the most exclusive club in
town. Everyone welcome!
In a dry cleaners window:
Anyone leaving their garments here for
more than 30 days will be disposed of
In a petrol station:
No smoking near the petrol pumps. Your
life may not be worth much, but our petrol is
In a health food shop:
Closed today due to illness
In a field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the
field for free, but the bull charges
On a leaflet:
If you can’t read, this leaflet will tell
you how to learn
In a repair shop:
We repair anything
(Please knock on the door – the bell is
out of order)
On a farm gate:
Beware! I shoot every 10th
trespasser, and the 9th one has just left
