http://www.iwritecopy4u.co.uk/christmas-quiz-2012
Strictly no 'Googling' or peeking at the answers until you've had a go!
Wishing you a very Merry Xmas from The Wonderful World of Words!
If you're fascinated by the wonderful world of words... read on and enjoy!
Tuesday 11 December 2012
FREE Fun Festive Quiz of 2012
http://www.iwritecopy4u.co.uk/christmas-quiz-2012
Strictly no 'Googling' or peeking at the answers until you've had a go!
Wishing you a very Merry Xmas from The Wonderful World of Words!
Tuesday 31 July 2012
Oooh er, Missus! Did I really just say that?!
A bit of a cheeky post this time... if you like ‘double-entendres’, this one’s for you! But those of a prudish disposition should maybe look away now, as some of these are a bit near the knuckle... But they all come from genuine slip-ups aired live on British TV and radio. I hope you enjoy them and don’t cackle too loudly!
‘This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.’ (Ted Walsh, horse racing commentator)
‘And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!’ (Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator)
‘Ah, isn't that nice! The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.’ (Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race, 1977)
‘And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!’ (Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator)
‘Ah, isn't that nice! The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.’ (Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race, 1977)
‘One of the reasons Arnold Palmer is playing so well, is that before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God! What have I just said? ’ (US PGA Commentator)
‘You'd eat beaver, if you could get it.’ (Carenza Lewis talking about food in the Middle Ages, on Time Team Live)
‘So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?’ (A female news anchor to the weatherman, the day after it was supposed to have snowed, and didn't)
‘Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.’ (Steve Ryder, covering the US Masters)
‘There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.’ (Clair Frisby, talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North)
‘Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.’ (Mike Hallett, discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports)
‘Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself’ (Ken Brown, commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open)
Know any more gems like this? Don't keep them to yourself! Share them with us below...
Monday 23 April 2012
Wonderful Worldwide English...
A bit of an international flavour for this post...
We've all seen them on our travels, and had a chuckle, haven't we? Signs, menus, notices... all written in English for our benefit, and all we can do is dissolve into hysterics?!
Well, here is a selection of some real gems...
In a Bangkok Temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
In a Norwegian Cocktail Lounge:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
In a Doctor's Office in Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
In a Dry Cleaners in Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS!
In a Nairobi Restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at in Kenya:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
In a Restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
In a Cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
In a Tokyo Hotel bedroom:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu in a Swiss Restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
In a Yugoslavian Hotel:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In a Japanese Hotel:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.
In a Black Forest Campsite:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
In a Zurich Hotel:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
In a Donkey Rides establishment in Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
In a Danish Airline Ticket Office:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
In a Laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
In a shop window in Abu Dhabi:
IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE…
We know we shouldn't laugh - after all, we know what they mean, and they have taken the trouble to write the sign in English... but it's always nice to see how things can gain a lot in translation?!
We've all seen them on our travels, and had a chuckle, haven't we? Signs, menus, notices... all written in English for our benefit, and all we can do is dissolve into hysterics?!
Well, here is a selection of some real gems...
In a Bangkok Temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
In a Norwegian Cocktail Lounge:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
In a Doctor's Office in Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
In a Dry Cleaners in Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS!
In a Nairobi Restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at in Kenya:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
In a Restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
In a Cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
In a Tokyo Hotel bedroom:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu in a Swiss Restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
In a Yugoslavian Hotel:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In a Japanese Hotel:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.
In a Black Forest Campsite:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
In a Zurich Hotel:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
In a Donkey Rides establishment in Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
In a Danish Airline Ticket Office:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
In a Laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
In a shop window in Abu Dhabi:
IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE…
We know we shouldn't laugh - after all, we know what they mean, and they have taken the trouble to write the sign in English... but it's always nice to see how things can gain a lot in translation?!
Monday 27 February 2012
The client is always right... or so they tell me!
Before I start this blog entry, I must emphasise that none of the below gems have come from any of my own current or past clients. They are all far too discerning! But they are all apparently genuine dialogues between copywriters and their clients, according to http://www.clientsfromhell.net/...
Client: I really don’t like what you’ve done with the copy I wrote.
Copywriter: All I did was just proof-read it and correct the spelling mistakes.
Client: There was no need to be so bloody thorough!
Copywriter: Hi, I’m just updating the copy, and I was wondering if you really meant to say ‘programs’ in the third paragraph?
Client: NO. What I sent you was completely accurate. I wrote and edited it myself. Just copy it over exactly as it says.
Copywriter: It says: ‘Please indicate which pogroms you’ve attended?’
Client: Oh yeah, sorry, that should be ‘programs’.
Client: I love the headline, but can’t you make it more….punchy somehow?
Copywriter: I don’t think it can really be any more punchy than ‘We Buy Gold’.
Client: I want more punch!
Copywriter: ‘Sell Your Gold Here’?
Client: No, I absolutely hate that. The last one was better. Just make it more punchy. I want it to jump off the page.
Copwriter: ‘We Buy Gold’
Client: There we go, that wasn’t so hard! But it’s still missing something... can you make it more glamorous? The last thing we want is people to think we’re low quality.
Copywriter: ‘We Buy Gold’
Client: Perfect!
Client: What do you mean ‘payment’? You told me you were a freelancer?
Hmm - any of these sound familiar?
Client: I really don’t like what you’ve done with the copy I wrote.
Copywriter: All I did was just proof-read it and correct the spelling mistakes.
Client: There was no need to be so bloody thorough!
Client: Yes, send the copy to me. I probably won’t have time to read it and give you feedback, so if you don’t hear back from me, just think what I would say and rewrite it.
Client: Thanks for sending us your copy. We just had to make a few gramerical corrections.
Copywriter: Hi, I’m just updating the copy, and I was wondering if you really meant to say ‘programs’ in the third paragraph?
Client: NO. What I sent you was completely accurate. I wrote and edited it myself. Just copy it over exactly as it says.
Copywriter: It says: ‘Please indicate which pogroms you’ve attended?’
Client: Oh yeah, sorry, that should be ‘programs’.
Copywriter: I don’t think it can really be any more punchy than ‘We Buy Gold’.
Client: I want more punch!
Copywriter: ‘Sell Your Gold Here’?
Client: No, I absolutely hate that. The last one was better. Just make it more punchy. I want it to jump off the page.
Copwriter: ‘We Buy Gold’
Client: There we go, that wasn’t so hard! But it’s still missing something... can you make it more glamorous? The last thing we want is people to think we’re low quality.
Copywriter: ‘We Buy Gold’
Client: Perfect!
Client: We’d like you to write an article on the way the market has changed in the last 10 years, and why… And in it, we want you to plug our company. Make us look really good. And no facts or stats, please. We don’t need any of those.
Hmm - any of these sound familiar?
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