More hilarious faux pas, but perhaps slightly more worrying...?

Following on from the theme of my previous post, here’s another selection of funny faux-pas. But this time there's a slightly more worrying side to them – because they were all apparently written in genuine medical notes! So, yes they’re funny – unless it’s your own doctor writing them of course...

"Mr Smith has no previous history of suicide"

"Mrs Brown has left her white blood cells at another hospital"

"Mrs White has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night"

"Miss Green has chest pains when she lies on her left side for over a year"

"Mrs Violet has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993"

"Discharge status for Mr Orange: Alive, but without my permission"

"Miss Scarlett had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch"

"While in ER, Miss Magnolia was examined, x-rated and sent home"

"Mrs Mustard stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce"

"Examination of genitalia reveals that Mr Lime is circus-sized"

"The lab test indicated abnormal lover function"

"When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room"

"Between you and me, we ought to be able to get Mrs Vermillion pregnant"

"The patient was due to have a bowel resection, but he took a job as a stock broker instead"

"By the time Mr Plum was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better"

Now, when's my next check-up booked for?! Have a good week!