From the church newsletter (Part 2)

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Following the great feedback we had from Part 1 of our church newsletter ramblings, here are some more gems to keep you chuckling in Part 2!

As always, we know what they were meaning to say, but it sort of came out wrong?!

We hope you enjoy these just as much...

• Monday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice due to the Vicar’s illness.

• African missionary Bertha Belch will be speaking tonight at the Church Hall. Come and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa!

• The Vicar spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

• The Vicar will preach his farewell sermon, after which the choir will sing the Hallelujah chorus.

• Next Sunday, Mrs Bloggs will play the organ for the morning service. The Vicar will then speak on “It’s a Terrible Experience.”

• Jane remains in the hospital and is having trouble sleeping - she has asked for some recordings of the Vicar’s sermons.

• During the absence of our Vicar, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when Rev. Stubbs took to the pulpit.

• John Brown and Sarah Smith were married on October 24. So ends a friendship that began during their school days.

• The Drama Club will be presenting Shakespeare’s 'Hamlet' in the Church Hall on Friday evening. Everyone is cordially invited to attend this tragedy.

• Please put your donation in the envelope, along with the deceased person you want remembered.

• Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding – and bring their happiness to a conclusion.

• Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding next Saturday.

• The Low Self-Esteem Support Group meets every Thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.

• During the Easter Service, two members of the choir sang a duet – ‘The Lord Knows Why’.

• Any members of the congregation who enjoy sinning are cordially invited to join the choir.

• The third verse of Hymn 364 will be sung without any musical accomplishment.

• The music for today’s service was all composed by Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

• Miss Sally Smith sang “I will not pass this way again” – giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

• National Prayer and Fasting conference: Please note - the cost for this conference includes meals.

• The Women’s Institute will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

• Weight Watchers meets every Friday at 6pm. Please use the double doors at the side entrance.