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| "The gunpowder plotters all wore fake beards, wigs and big hats to disguise themselves. But they failed to notice that someone had written their names on the wall behind them - so they all got arrested..." |
I am hooked - mainly because of all the hilarious one-liners.
Here are some of my absolute favourites from the series so far...
On the Cerne Abbas giant:
"It's the second crudest hill in England after Benny."
On the Bayeux Tapestry:
"It's like a Game of Thrones season finale drawn by an eight-year-old boy... just like being there, but in wool."
On castles:
"They were originally built by kings to sit in and protect their land - whereas today they are just extortionate wedding venues."
On Richard III:
"He tried to escape the Battle of Bosworth by burrowing under a car park."
On Roman Baths:
"They were an early type of gentrification - like when someone opens an artisan bakery in Hull."
On Alan Turing:
"This weird man who discovered computers is now a national hero. People queue for ages to touch the Turing Shroud."
On evolution:
"The monkeys that didn't evolve into humans must have been absolutely gutted..."
On Shakespeare:
"School in Shakespeare's day was much easier - because you didn't have to study Shakespeare."
On Stone Age Man:
"Why did Stone Age people bury all their stuff underground? Were they worried someone might steal it?"
On Stonehenge:
"It was also used to tell the time - and it is the only clock you can see from space - unless you have a clock in your spaceship..."
On the Vikings:
"They probably settled in York to be near the Jorvik Viking Centre."
On Mary, Queen of Scots:
"She was called 'Bloody Mary' because like the drink, she was bloody horrible."
On Sir Walter Raleigh:
"If he was such a great sailor, why do we only remember him for his bikes?"
On the Black Death:
"At least if you caught the Black Death, you got time off work."
